Get a life.
It’s been a while since I posted up something. Now that I have the luxury of time, I’ll do as many posts as I can before school starts.
A lot of people have been telling me I don’t have a life. They meant life outside school.
A lot of people have been asking me what do I do after school. They meant activities that doesn’t involve anything academic.
I do have a life, just not outside of school. Inside.
I do value school like Golum’s ring in the Lord of The Rings: “My Precioussssss”.
I found my life in school. A lot of people always find school as boring, always associated with the long dull readings, two-page numerical solutions, ten-page essays, projects and etc.
I say these things give me a sense of purpose, goals that I set to see where I am leading my life in to. To see that I am not just studying aimlessly, just to finish university or just to land on a decent job. I want to be better, better than myself from yesterday, from last week, from last month, from last year.
School is not JUST an institution for me. It’s my home.
Of course the process is dull and confusing, but the things that you can pick up from these dry and puzzling materials are just wonderful and for those who can see them, can help them in building their own character.
I love learning. Learning makes me feel alive. It’s just like a pinch, it makes you feel pain and with feeling pain you know you’re alive. I can describe the learning process like this,
1) you go to class
2) take notes
3) study
4) take the test
5) you fail or you succeed but you want to be better
6) study
7) take the test again
8) you succeeded or you are better
Yes, it is stressful, it is hard, but that’s what makes school fun and worthwhile. When someday, we will all look back to what we have done, you will be impressed with yourself that you did something hard and stressful, and you survived it. And when you look at yourself from your freshman year and then looking at yourself right now, you’ll be surprised by the things that changed you, from the things that helped you survive through those hardships. These things can potentially help you survive life.
I am in engineering and everyday that I go in to class, I find happiness when I know that someday, some of these things that I learn in the classroom will change somebody’s life for the better. It’s a big thing you know. Having that chance to change someone’s life is something gratifying, something that we humans innately do whether conscious or unconscious. We do change people’s lives everyday even if you’re not an engineer.
I grew up in a very poor country. Poverty ridden. Power lusting government officials lead my country. But, if you look in to the eye of its people, they are yearning for better and brighter future. They know no one can help them but themselves. Some kids are forced to work in an early age and never step a toe in a classroom, never get to touch a pencil or a paper, never get to learn how to sing the alphabet or count the sheep in their sleep. I doubt they would even know what a sheep is. Good and decent education is rare, very rare in my own country. That’s why I value school this much.
I value my school and my education so much because my family is not rich. I am not secured for the rest of my life and I doubt that there would be anything left for me and my brother when my parents pass away, maybe except for a very little amount of money from an insurance company. sure. But this, my school and education, are the only things that I have and the only things that I will have. This is the grandest gift I can ever receive from my parents. No one can take this away from me.
I know, some people will tell me I am studying for myself, but hold on. Do these people even know the meaning of deep gratitude? It is by working hard, doing the best that I can, that I can repay the kindness and goodness that my parents have given to me.
I love school because this is the only thing that I have. I treasure it. I am not good in sports, I don’t have the physical ability to even last a game. I am not good in the arts, I only know shading and color blending, I don’t have the sense of the abstract. It’s ambiguous, and me and ambiguity aren’t really good friends. I am not good with interacting with people, I don’t know, I think I’m socially retarded. But this one thing, one thing I am very good at, working hard. I am not the best student in my program, I am not even on the dean’s list but everyday, I enter the classroom or a lab, and I pour everything that I have to what I do and in the end, maybe my device isn’t working or maybe I did not ace the test, but the fact that I did the best that I can is just humbling. Humbling because of the humongous amount of stuff there is to learn and I barely know anything. It’s what keeps me going because I know that when I learn something today, it’ll make me a better student, or more so a better person, tomorrow.
Maybe people won’t see it until I tell them. Maybe they won’t stop telling me to have a life until they’ve seen what really is my life. Most of them refer to the life of a party, of fun and enjoyment. They can’t see fun and fulfillment through books, papers, solution manuals and numbers. Maybe that’s why they tell me I’m weird. But hey, no harm at all. If they can’t see it, it’s not their fault. I’m not going to keep a grudge on them. Maybe someday they’ll see.
This is my life. This is what I call life. And to tell me to get a life is just really redundant, because I already have one.
Can`t wait to go back home..
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